Crappy Weather Follows Me Everywhere

April 19, 2018

So this is global warming?

I can’t remember Old Man Winter ever hanging on so long. What we experienced in Michigan last week was out right cruelty at its best. And where I live in Alabama/Georgia it wasn’t much better.

Granted ice storms in April in Michigan aren’t unusual, but this latest version was a blinger. Roads were impassable, not for a few hours but for multiple days. Power outages, normal occurrences again for a few hours, affected many of us for days. When it wasn’t sleeting it was snowing. When it wasn’t snowing it was hailing.

Mike Wilcox Mike's Musings Columnist

Mike Wilcox
Mike’s Musings Columnist

Down South, when people are swimming, barbequing, and sunbathing at this time of year, they were bundled up in winter jackets, with the heat on high in their homes. Yesterday when driving to work my temp gauge didn’t get higher than 34. This is after a rain and windstorm that toppled trees and flooded roads.

Someone obviously forgot to tell the weatherman we are a month in to Spring.

I moved from Michigan to Alabama/Georgia because I could no longer deal with the cold. For family and business reasons I split time, however, which means I’m in Michigan nearly half the month. That means escaping the cold, and some instances, ice and snow, is impossible.

Last week’s ice storm made me recall the last whole winter I spent up north. That winter the ice built up on my home’s roof, eventually causing nearly $50,000 in damage to my house. That was the back breaker. But then too, there was the fact that enjoying winter was never my cup of tea.

I tried snow skiing until one day I couldn’t stop and ran in to the lodge. I thought I was safe with 4-wheel drive until one day I hit a patch of black ice, and sideswiped a tree. I do like to fish in the summer months, so I decided to try ice fishing in the winter- that is until my hands froze to my fishing pole. I simply can’t stand winter- sorry.

So I ventured down South. I remember the first year in Alabama we were swimming in my pool on March 28. That’s right, we had an extended stretch of 80 degree temps (which hasn’t happened since then) and swimming seemed a good idea. Maybe it was too many beers. Maybe it was an attack of machoism. I jumped in, and needless to say I now wait until May to swim.

For sure, this year, has been like none other- even down here. The cold weather makes me yearn for a tropical island. Jeez I moved here, to escape the cold, only to have Old Man Winter follow me here. Last month in an effort to escape, my wife and I took a weekend trip to Central Florida, only to experience what we had left- temps in the 30’s.

My son jokingly tells me my destiny is to become a citizen of Greenland, where temperatures are more minus than they are positive. He thinks wherever I go, I bring the cold and ice and snow, therefore I should park myself where it never gets warm.

He would say, “suck it up, dad,” “you never will be happy with the weatherman, so meet your weather-challenged body and soul head on. Live where warmth is not an option.”

Did I mention my son is a smart aleck teenager? Didn’t I just write that I yearned to find a tropical island as my destination? Maybe my quest for warmth will succeed some day. One can only hope.

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