Weird Headlines Make My Week Less Painful

December 6, 2018

It’s been a long week. My dog is sick, thus I’ve had very little sleep. My vehicle needs repairs thus I’ve had to set aside money I don’t have. AND all my annual bills, including property tax are due this week, and that’s more money I gotta pull from somewhere.

Mike Wilcox Mike's Musings Columnist

Mike Wilcox
Mike’s Musings Columnist

So I’ve decided it’s time to put on my smiley face and get out of the doldrums. For that I’ve jumped on the internet to find the weird and unusual. I always manage a smile or two when I start reading these kind of stories. Here’s a sampling of headlines from true but ridiculous stories:
-Woman pleads guilty to causing death by sitting on boyfriend
-Lonely Chinese man buys puppy only to find out later it is a rat
-Alleged sexual abuse of guinea pig in parking lot is under investigation deputies say
-American Airlines passenger was left in wheelchair overnight in airport after flight was cancelled
-Man says he killed girlfriend, but will surrender after he smokes crack, South Carolina cops say
-Florida Atlantic University students threaten to kill professor after he scheduled 7 a.m. exam, police say
-Toothbrush holder in bathroom turns out to be a jar dating back to 1900 BC
-“Crazy Rich Asians” flops at the Chinese box office
-A lawsuit over the sound of cowbells is dividing a small German town
-Realistic Christmas decorations fool passerby who try to save fake dummy hanging from roof
-Football players suspended from team for running naked with Oreos wedged in their buttocks
-Grandmother mistaken for man ends up in male jail cell
-Texas man drives away from car crash with other man on his hood
-Payless opens fake luxury store, sells customers $20 shoes for $600 as experiment
-Pastor takes church service to new heights by preaching on zip line
-Oakland University to fight shooters with hockey pucks
-Young Scots say not drinking alcohol holds back their careers
-Man crushed to death by forklift driven by pet dog
-German teenager loses license after 45 minutes
-Massachusetts mayor first in line as recreational marijuana sales begin
-Russian cops put out fire with snowballs
-73 year old woman worried about meth she was smoking, asked doctor to test it
-Italian town catches 58,000 speeding cars in two weeks
-Texas students will soon learn slavery played a major role in Civil War
-Man’s runny nose turns out to be leaking brain fluid

As I reported at the top, these headlines are not fake news. Our world can be weird and crazy at times. After looking through these headlines, I’ve realized my week’s plight got a whole lot better. No matter how bad we think we have it there are plenty of others out there that have it worse. Just remember that.



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